Build Confidence in Interpersonal Relationships

For some people, self-confidence with regard to personal relationships is challenging. You may find that you have confidence in many other areas of your life - your business, talents, and so forth - but lack the confidence to have successful personal relationships. For some, this is due to past experiences - once bitten, twice shy, so to speak. For others, it just seems to be how they're wired; they just can't be the social butterfly they wish they could be.

If any of this describes you, read on for some tips and suggestions that may help.

Recognize You're Not Alone

Pretending like you don't have trouble with confidence is not going to help. You might be surprised at how many people who seem naturally born confident actually took time and effort to learn the art of self-confidence in their relationships. If there weren't a growing number of people in need of self-confidence, there wouldn't be a growing field of confidence coaches and life coaches to help! Audible and Youtube are good resources to find self-confidence talks. Try listening to to them while you commute or when in the shower. ...

Consider Coaching

You might consider becoming a client of a confidence or life coach. These coaches specialize in helping people realize their potential, both professionally and personally. There's no shame in seeking advice, whether from a friend or a professional. 

Your Contribution

If you feel insecure when you think of your interpersonal relationships (or when you think of starting one), it might help to remember that you have something of value to contribute to that relationship. Your lack of confidence may stem from a sense that relationships are only about you pleasing the other person, or getting him or her to like you. However, it's important to realize that you have something to contribute to the relationship which will benefit the other person - you! Just remember we all have our strengths and struggles and that's what makes us unique. 

We All Have Flaws

It's important to remember that both you and the person with whom you are in a relationship have flaws. Everyone does. People who lack confidence in relationships tend to walk on eggshells, afraid they will say or do something to cause the other person to turn against them. But truthfully, someone who really likes or loves you is not going to ditch you just because you said one silly thing or made one mistake. If they do, you didn't need them to begin with! In reality the more time you spend around a person the more comfortable you will become and the less you will feel like you are walking on eggshells. 

Silence the Negative Inner Voice

First, you have to recognize it. This can be the most challenging part if you are not aware of it. Try listening for a few days to your inner voice. What's it saying? Do you hear, "You're not good enough," "No one would ever put up with you," or "I just can't go over and talk to him/her?" Once you begin to hear these thoughts, it's time to take action and replace them with positive thoughts. You have to forge new habits of positive self-talk instead. Remember that you have something to contribute to a relationship and the right person will be glad to have you as an addition to his or her life!

About the Author Cheri Toftdahl

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