Mindsets that Lead to Low Self-Confidence and How to Change Them

If you suffer from low self-confidence, you might be stuck in some negative mindsets that are affecting the way you think about yourself, your performance at work, your relationships and ultimately, your self-esteem. Negative mindsets tend to have a lot of "always" or "never" talk, creating a sense of entrapment and hopelessness. Here are some examples of negative mindsets that can lead to low self-confidence.

"I will never get it right."

Thinking this way can keep you from trying again or trying something for the first time. This mindset makes it too easy to give up.

"Nobody understands what this is like."

When you lack self-confidence, a lot of times you assume that everyone else has it together. You may feel isolated or feel as if others have their lives together while you are still floundering.  The truth is we all have areas of our life we are challenging.  

"I am totally useless."

When you lack confidence, you may feel like you don't have anything of value to contribute, whether it's to your workplace, relationships, or something else. Just remember that everyone matters and we all have value to contribute.  

"I am a complete failure."

No one fails at every single thing; but to a person with low self-confidence, it can sure seem that way. You may feel like everything you've ever tried has failed, even if this is not true.  At one point or another we have all tried something and failed. But is it really a failure? I think it's actually a learning experience and a way to reinvent the idea or challenge. 

"I could never do that."

Do you see someone with a successful career, bigger house or perfect lifestyle you wish you had? When you lack self-confidence, you may have the above reaction. Instead of being inspired and wanting to create that life for yourself, you look at that person and get depressed. Wishing you had what they have and thinking you could never have that lifestyle.  

How Can These Mindsets Be Overcome?

In order to overcome these destructive mindsets that lead to low confidence, it's necessary to reprogram your thought processes. You will need to pay attention to your negative self-talk and immediately change it to something positive.  At first you might not even realize you are doing it but, the more you are aware, the more you will notice and be able to change your negative self-talk into positive thoughts. 

For example, instead of "I will never get it right," you could stop that thought in its tracks and think instead, "I have trouble with this, but if I keep trying and seek out the right help, I know I can succeed." Rather than, "I could never do that," think, "I would love to do that! There's no reason why I can't have that lifestyle if I work at it."  If you are having a difficult time try doing it with a friend or family member and have them keep you accountable and vice versa.  

You also might want to think about therapy and/or counseling to overcome these mindsets. But like everything else in life, you can do it if you set realistic goals and have confidence in yourself!

About the Author Cheri Toftdahl

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